Sorry Not Sorry

[sor-ee, sawr-ee]
1. feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.
2. regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic;

We all make mistakes, right? That's what apologies are for. That's WHY we say "Sorry," right? Not necessarily. Here are a couple of dumb things I've said sorry to in the past week:
  • To a friend who didn't get a very popular movie reference I made.
  • To a random person on the street who bumped into me while being on his phone.
  • To the waiter who got my order wrong after I explicitly explained, "No meat."
  • To my TA whose email I didn't understand nor answered my question.
  • For finishing the entire box of pistachio ice cream (...okay that one might have been legit)
Point is, how do any of these actions make me feel regret or unfortunate? And should they? Absolutely not. They're all dumb things to be saying sorry for. If anything, I was the one who deserved the apology in certain situations.The fact that women will apologize for absolutely everything and anything, even if they're not at fault, has been soaked into the mindset of this society to such an extent that there's even a commercial about it.

I mean it's a freaking shampoo company for God's sake! You know there is something wrong with the society when a brand representing the way our hair smells after a shower is saying, "Hey all you women out there- STOP APOLOGIZING FOR NO REASON!" In my opinion, this ad hits it right home with a lot of its viewers. But of course, what's an ad campaign without people arguing the complete opposite of why it was even aired. When this ad came out, some women argued that apologizing is just good manners, and that Pantene is trying to empower women by teaching them to not be polite.
.....Say what now?
confused animated GIF

Did you just miss the whole point!? Women are more likely to say they're sorry for something they didn't do wrong, placing unnecessary guilt upon themselves- which by the way, is horrible for one's self-esteem and self-worth. Not just that, but women are also more likely to feel subordinate, whether at work or home, so they feel if any tiny convenience occurs, they're at fault and have to apologize. I don't see the harm in advertising this as a women's issue. In fact, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Men could just as easily be watching this and realize they apologize too much. Although, I highly doubt that. As the famous quote goes, "Women are considered fragile, but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego." Seriously, when have you ever seen a man apologize for something that wasn't his fault? And even if you have, it probably wasn't with quite the same frequency. (Except for all you married men out there, ignore this!)

Coming back to the ad, I don't think it, in any way, gives the message that women are weak and in need of Pantene's great wisdom to make their lives better. They're just showing a common problem and showing how to fix it. I always knew this was a prevalent issue, but it didn't exactly come to my attention the way it did until I saw my niece repeating it. I remember sitting in my living room and seeing her sing random tunes until she started taking steps down the stairs. As she took each step, she said "sorry" every. single. step. I kid you not. Confused as I was, I asked her what she was saying sorry for, and her response was that she felt she was being too loud. What?! Loud? How? By taking the stairs? Now what could've programmed this six-year-old girl to apologize for something as simple as going down the stairs? I don't see her little four-year-old brother doing the same for actually being loud. I feel that society as a whole is responsible. We apologize without even thinking. Don't know when "sorry" became synonymous with "excuse me" or with "I hope this is okay with you." It's as if we're trying to make a direct statement but don't want to come off as bossy or aggressive, so we add a "sorry" to soften it and seem nice. To be more likable and competent. But how can we be more likable and competent if we come off as unsure or defensive?

(Funny story! While writing the list above, a lady asked another friend of hers, "Sorry, I need help with this." But then stopped herself and said, "No, actually I'm not sorry about it. We say sorry so much; we really need to stop." I literally turned to see if she could see my screen, but she was a good 16 feet away. Talk about Law of Attraction! Lol.)



  1. I agree and disagree. I believe apologizing is a form of being polite and like the commercial you used as in example I don't really know that many girls who apologize or like apologizing. Lol but you're right apologizing for little things isn't necessary from either men or females.

    Really enjoy reading your blogs btw keep up the good work!:)

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